


and if the lights are all out

by otatop



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Sleep Paralysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-16 00:49:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21262364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otatop/pseuds/otatop
Summary: the boys have a bad night





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a week or so ago i did a thing on twitter and then decided to attempt to write it into a small thing? happy halloween!

There was no sound, but it was sound that woke him.

Neil’s eyes shot open as adrenaline spiked through his heart but the rest of his body stayed perfectly still. He wanted desperately to go and stay at the same time. Freeze had never been an option before, only  _ flight _ or  _ fight _ , but now it was the only thing he was capable of. 

It wasn’t the immobility that had his pulse picking up. It was something else. Over there. In the shadow. 

_ One wayeeeee _

The drawn out note pulled Nathan’s lips up into unnatural points at the corners. His smile was more manic than cruel. Exuberant.  _ Elated _ . 

Don’t move. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t even breathe. Don’t let him notice you. Don’t let Andrew notice  _ him _ . 

_ Or anotheeerrrrrrrrr _

Nathan stepped toward the bed, a shadow on legs that were wrong. The darkness of the room barely showed the silhouette of hips and knees moving in ways they shouldn’t. The only part of him perfectly visible was his cleaver, bright and silver and a stark contrast to everything else in the room. 

_ I’m gonna find yoooouuuuuu _

“Neil?”

No no no. Don’t move. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t breathe. Don’t let Andrew notice  _ him _ .

“Neil,  _ breathe _ .” 

No no no. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t breathe.

Andrew came into his line of sight, turned Neil’s head toward him. Neil let himself be turned. He couldn’t do anything but let himself be turned. He didn’t want to look at that  _ smile _ anymore. He couldn’t look at anything but. 

Andrew looked but didn’t notice.  _ Terror _ was the only thing Neil could process, powerful and irrational and the only thing that made sense all at once. Nathan peaked over Andrew’s shoulder, one finger up over his stretched out grin.  _ Ssshhh _ Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t even breathe.

His lungs were  _ burning _ . 

_ I’m gonnnnnnaaaaaaa _

Andrew climbed over Neil’s body to reach his phone on the nightstand, blocking Nathan from view just long enough for him to disappear. 

Neil allowed himself tiny, shallow breaths, couldn’t stop them. He couldn’t move, couldn’t yell, couldn’t run. He couldn’t see Nathan. 

Andrew’s words were drowned out by the din of white noise. It fizzed like the room was filled with unfocused radio waves. The press of a blade to his hip. Right in his ear, loud, loud, loud, crackling like the rest-

_ Getcha _

His breath came out all at once. He couldn’t  _ fight, he couldn’t fight, he couldn’t move _ . Nathan kneeled on each of his legs, cleaver pressed to one thigh that he leaned on to hold himself up over Neil’s face. 

_ Getcha _

His lips pointed up towards his eyes. Excited. Comical. He pushed his weight onto the blade, sinking it further and further to the bone as his face got closer and closer and where did Andrew  _ go _ how did he  _ get away _ why wasn’t he coming to  _ help _ ? 

His voice didn’t break over the rushing in his ears but he could imagine that it made a sound, that it mattered, that it would work. 

_ G- _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andrew's pov (because i'm predictable)

The room was silent.

Neil did not move in his sleep but he did snore just slightly.

The room was silent. 

Andrew opened his eyes, not knowing what to expect, disoriented from sleep. He didn’t know what had woken him so suddenly. Outside was deserted with the promise of snow, the only thing filtering in through the windows was the warm light of a street lamp. 

The room was silent.

Neil did not move in his sleep but he did snore just slightly.

The room was silent. 

Andrew pushed up onto his hands before he registered why. There was no questioning, just action. He reached out to touch Neil and stopped. 

His eyes were open, wide and grey and reflecting yellow in the low light. His mouth was open, poised for that soft snuffle that was by now more melody than menace. 

But no sound came out.

Andrew looked to Neil’s chest. Still. 

He touched. He broke the silence. 

“Neil.”

In the quiet, Andrew’s mind created it’s own background noise of mounting  _ wrongness _ , a high pitched hum of  _ sleep _ and  _ dead _ . He pressed two fingers to a pulse that was beating strong and fast and contrary.

“Neil, _ breathe _ ,” he ordered. But Neil. Neil never did listen. 

Andrew rolled up onto his knees to lean over Neil, to hold his head between his hands and roll it towards him. Shadows from the street lamp morphed his face as it turned but the glint in his eye did not move as they stayed focused somewhere to Andrew’s left. He looked, wishing for something physical to fight, and found only empty space. 

He couldn’t afford to waste anymore time, not when Neil still wasn’t breathing. Andrew crawled over Neil’s limp body, careful not to crush or pinch, and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He called Abby’s number once. Then a second time to get through her Do Not Disturb setting. 

“ _ ‘Ndrew? S’wrong?” _

“Neil isn’t responsive.” The words felt like glass shards on his tongue. 

_ “Is he breathing _ ?”

“No. Wait-” He stared down at Neil, watched his chest convulse as he let barely any air out before sucking it back in. “His eyes are open and his heart is racing. He wasn’t breathing but now he is. Barely.”

“ _ Are you sure he’s awake? It sounds almost like apnea.” _

“His eyes are  _ open _ . He’s looking at something.” He reached down and clenched at the blanket by Neil’s hand. All of the air came out of him in one long, wheezing breath. 

“ _ Just because his eyes are open- _ ”

“It’s like he’s having a panic attack but he’s not- it’s not-”

The breath that Neil had let out came rushing back in, fast enough that Andrew could feel phantom pains in his own lungs. And the sound he let out-

He felt the sound in his bones, a shock down his arms. Andrew dropped the phone to grab the side of Neil’s neck, his head. His eyes were frantic, wide and wild and flicking around like he didn’t know where to look. 

“ _ Please _ ,” he screamed and Andrew pulled his hands away as if the word could cause physical harm. But stopping didn’t help, stopping made it  _ worse _ and Neil screamed louder and longer and  _ No _ and  _ Please God No _ and  _ Andrew Andrew Please _ . 

“ _ Neil _ ,” Andrew tried to say over the wails. He touched because he  _ had  _ to, because Neil was  _ not okay _ . He climbed onto the pillows and pulled Neil up by the shoulders until he was nearly sitting up. 

The position surged energy into Neil’s legs, changed his agonized please into panicked shouts as he kicked out and twisted, scrambling into Andrew’s chest like he could burrow inside. Andrew held him fast, arms around his seizing chest. 

“ _ Stop _ ,” he said, not a demand but his own harsh plea. Neil silenced himself so immediately that Andrew was sure he had just bitten his tongue. He held on to Andrew’s arms as hard as Andrew held him, four squeezing hands leaving ten pointed bruises. 

A frantic knock at the door drew another pained sound from Neil and pressed his nails into Andrew’s elbow and biceps. 

“ _ Andrew? What is happening? Unlock the door!”  _ Nicky shouted.

“Fuck off,” Andrew called out. He didn’t have the energy or care to comfort anyone outside of their bed. 

_ “No! No fuck off! Is Neil okay? Why was he screaming?” _

“I’m fine, Nicky,” Neil said with a voice too even and calm to deceive anyone. There was another dull thump. Andrew could practically see Nicky’s head falling to the door at the horrible predictability of the claim. He said something too quiet to hear and two footsteps left the hall. Andrew waited for Aaron’s door to close before he hefted Neil further into his arms. 

“Dream?” he asked quietly, lips pressed Neil’s temple. 

Neil hummed his assent. They would talk about it tomorrow. “Lights,” he whispered into Andrew’s neck. It wasn’t far to reach from their position on the edge of the bed but Andrew struggled to let go long enough to pull the cord of the venetian blinds. The yellow light of the street lamp filled out more corners, washed out pale walls and sheets and skin. Neil adjusted his face, nuzzling from Andrew’s neck to shoulder so that he could see outside. 

“Snowing,” he whispered. Andrew hummed back. “Tell me about it.” 

Andrew thought of the plastic Christmas tree downstairs and the neighborhood of lights and the echo of Neil’s please. He drew his arms tighter and told Neil what the morning would bring.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at first i thought the end was rushed because i wanted this to be short but then i realized that i just like it this way /shrug

**Author's Note:**

> keep an eye out for part 2 tonight :o
> 
> come bother me at imperfectcourt1 on twitter, too


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